Day 36

Jn. 15-18

John 15:8 - "By this is My Father glorified, that you bear much fruit, and so prove to be my disciples."

I need to take a look at my life. No fruit means not abiding in Him and not glorifying Him. But check. Am I even in season?

John 16:7 - "But I tell you the truth, it is to your advantage that I go away; for if I do not go away, the Helper shall not come to you; but if I go, I will send Him to you."

We complain that we cannot see God, that we do not have the advantage the disciples had in having Jesus in His fleshly form. But look! We are the ones with the advantage.

Catch-up:

Ps. 125; Mt. 26

Day 35

I do devotions. Look at me go.

Jn. 9-11

John 9:25 - "He therefore answered, 'Whether He is a sinner, I do not know; one thing I do know, that, whereas I was blind, now I see.'"

Sometimes experience is not such a bad thing to base faith on. Would this man ever have believed had he not been healed? We'll never know. But Jesus didn't do signs and wonders for fun, but to bring hope and faith and glory to God. This man knew he would be thrown out of the synagogue and society for such a statement, but the evidence of his healing compelled him. It is not so bad to ask for miracles.

John 11:35 - "Jesus wept."

Not quaint, not funny. He was real. He had a heart and emotions and compassion. His friend died and He mourned with everyone else, even while knowing He was about to raise Lazarus. This makes me believe that even knowing the good that will come of hard situations, He feels my pain with me. He may not be rocked by emotions or situations, but He is a relational, living God.

Catch-up:

Mt. 4

Matthew 4:17 - "From that time Jesus began to preach and say, 'Repent, for the kingdom of heaven is at hand.'"

These were Jesus' first words that He taught. He did not ask them to love or say that He loved or anything of the sort...He told them to repent. He asked for them to turn from themselves and the world so that they were facing Him with open hearts.

Day 34

I have been the worst. But hello! Christmas break. It'll happen.

And even if I mess up, I will not get down on myself for it.

The end.

Jn. 7, 8

John 7:18 - "He who speaks from himself seeks his own glory; but He who is seeking the glory of the One who sent Him, He is true, and there is no unrighteousness in Him."

Jesus sought the Father's glory in all actions and deeds. If there be any selfish way in me then it is for my own glory, even if the words are true and noble; it is the heart behind them that counts.

John 7:30 - "They were seeking therefore to seize Him; and no man laid his hand on Him, because His hour had not yet come."

God's perfect provision and timing are so evident here. Jesus went up to a festival He knew He shouldn't be at because they were seeking to kill Him and there were lots of men there who were angry enough to kill Him for His teachings, yet they could do nothing because His time had not yet come. I'm going to go out on a limb here and say that is not just a figure of speech.

John 8:11 - "And she said, 'No one, Lord.' And Jesus said, 'Neither do I condemn you; go your way. From now on sin no more.'"

This passage touches me so much it's unbelievable. Things to notice:

1. She did not ask forgiveness. She did not beg from what we can see, she only awaited judgment knowing she was in the wrong.
2. So many people put stock in what He wrote in the sand that we will never know, but most important are His words. It says that they heard Him and left. Heard.
3. He simply told her to go on and stop sinning. There was no condemnation or guilt trips or probationary periods. He wanted her heart to change.

He forgives, then forgets. What a God.

Catch-up:

Mt. 3

Day 33

Really quick! Almost done all work, but must put in some time before I am too tired!!!

Isa. 40

Isaiah 40:28a - "Do you not know? Have you not heard? The Everlasting God, the Lord, the Creator of the ends of the earth does not become weary or tired."

What relief. I am exhausted and nearly at the end of myself, but He has not changed. He is still vibrant and alive and awake and all things new. He is not going to fall asleep on me.

Day 32

I am making this happen! I have studying to do, but this is more important. It has to be.

Jas. 1-5

James 1:4 - "And let endurance have its perfect result, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing."

Ah, to endure! The bane of my existence lately. But I need to. And imagine, at the end, being perfect, complete, mature, not lacking. It will be worth it in the end.

James 1:20 - "For the anger of man does not achieve the righteousness of God."

Big lesson. My anger accomplishes nothing for His righteousness. That's a hard one to swallow.

James 4:3 - "You ask and do not receive, because you ask with wrong motives, so that you may spend it on your pleasures."

We like to quote "Ask and you will receive...", but this one is not as popular. My motives are rarely completely pure. I would love to change that.

James 4:17 - "Therefore, to one who knows the right thing to do, and does not do it, to him it is sin."

Wow. Harsh. Difficult to digest. Now that I am aware of certain things in my life I have to abstain from, they become sin for me to take part in. I do not know how to fight that...God, I am sorry.

Day 31

Sleepy. Must...go...on.

Heb. 9-11

Hebrews 10:14 - "For by one offering He has perfected for all time those who are sanctified."

How amazingly glorious is it that I have been perfected? No matter what I do wrong or mess up or excel in, He already sees me perfect. Wow.

Hebrews 10:22 - "Let us draw near with a sincere heart in full assurance of faith, having our hearts sprinkled clean from an evil conscience and our bodies washed with pure water."

This, to me, is the epitome of refreshment. It reminds me of when I was working up in Merrit and Adam and I needed to shower, so we went to this crazy fast and shallow mountain stream. It was ice cold, and when we sat down it was up to our waists, so to wash our hair we had to lay back under the water. Refreshment, especially in that kind of dry, ridiculously hot weather. The heart is sprinkled clean, the body is doused. Beautiful.

Hebrews 10:29 - "How much severer punishment do you think he will deserve who has trampled under foot the Son of God, and has regarded as unclean the blood of the covenant by which he was sanctified, and has insulted the Spirit of grace?"

Wow. I wrote however long ago above this passage: "This brings it down to a choice, and shames us for ever considering the alternative." How true! We uphold Him, or trample Him. We acknowledge Him, or we ask Him not to acknowledge us. We glorify Him, or glorify ourselves. What's it going to be?

Hebrews 11:15 - "And indeed if they had been thinking about that country from which they went out, they would have had opportunity to return."

If I wanted to go back to the old life, the old country, I could have at any moment over the last few months. But my eyes have been somewhere else. I don't want to get down on where I am and take my eyes off God in the process. Those men and women of faith were truly incredible.

Hebrews 11:37-38a - "They were stoned, they were sawn in two, they were tempted, they were put to death with the sword; they went about in sheepskins, in goatskins, being destitute, afflicted, ill-treated (men of whom the world was not worthy)."

That last bit always gets me...the world was not worthy of these men. They saw God and therefore did not need to see everything around them. It made them too good for this world. I want to be far too good for this world.

Day 30

I am getting really bad at this. And by bad at this, I mean I am getting lazier and coming up with worse excuses. Ugh.

Heb. 5-8

Hebrews 5:12 - "For though by this time you ought to be teachers, you have need again for someone to teach you the elementary principles of the oracles of God, and you have come to need milk and not solid food."

This jumped out at me like crazy! Why? Not necessarily because I cannot handle His words, but because the elementary stuff is still so big for me. He is big! Wow! He is holy! Wow! Milk.

Hebrews 7:28 - "For th Law appoints men as high priests who are weak, but the word of the oath, which came after the Law, appoints a Son, made perfect forever."

This struck me because it counts Jesus as strong; He is the very opposite of weak men who attempted to stand between God and man. He was anything but weak. He threw Himself on the altar because He knew it was the only way...that is strength.

Catch-up:

Matthew 1, 2

Day 29

2 Tim. 1-4

2 Timothy 1:11 - "...[the gospel], for which I was appointed a preacher and an apostle and a teacher."

Boom! It's like the parable of the talents, there is not just one gift for everyone. I hate feeling like I should feel guilty for having more than one. Sick, Paul. Sick.

2 Timothy 2:24 - "And the Lord's bond-servant must not be quarrelsome, but be kind to all, able to teach, patient when wronged...."

Ah, a challenge. How to be patient when wronged? Extremely, extremely difficult.

2 Timothy 4:7 - "I have fought the good fight, I have finished the course, I have kept the faith."

Every time I see this verse it reminds me of a frame that someone I know has in her house with this verse in it to commemorate her husband who died. It's bittersweet...the verse. The story is only sad.

Day 28

Tons of homework is no excuse. So here I am in Denny's at 2am, and I am reading just because I miss it so much.

Ps. 139

Psalm 139:3b - "You are intimately acquainted with all my ways."

Intimately acquainted. What a rockstar. I know that doesn't even begin to describe it, but wow. It gives me tingles. Actually, this entire chapter does that. Be prepared for lots of tingly comments.

Psalm 139:5 - "You have enclosed me behind and before, and laid Your hand upon me."

This gives me comfort, especially considering how things have been going lately with my health and the car accidents from hell. But He encloses me. It's comforting.

Psalm 139:8 - "If I ascend to heaven, You are there; if I make my bed in Sheol, behold, You are there."

I don't think I'm going to make it through the whole chapter at this rate.

So if I actually live the way I should and ascend my own way to heaven, He's with me. And if I make my own bed in hell and lie in it, He's there too. Even when I do it to myself, He just sits at my bedside and says "little girl, rise!" Biggest smile.

I made it!! There is too much meat in this. I feel like I could read it every day and never get enough, never lose the awe of it. David knew You. I want to know you, know you, too.

Day 27

Eph. 5, 6; Ps. 119:1-80

Ephesians 5:33 - "Nevertheless let each individual among you also love his own wife even as himself; and let the wife see to it that she respect her husband."

So to those who say that a man needs love as much as respect or a woman respect as much as love, the Bible apparently begs to differ. These are the essentials.

Ephesians 6:15 - "...and having shod your feet with the preparation of the gospel of peace...."

Before I go anywhere, I put on shoes. At least anywhere I'm serious about. The preparation of the gospel. Hm. I need to know it to be prepared in it. And that is what carries me through the battle.

Psalm 119:71 - "It is good for me that I was afflicted, that I may learn Thy statutes."

Ah, the "for your own good" thing again. It's true. In my afflictions is when I learn the most. In my failures, I learn what it is He desires of me.

Catch-up:

Mk. 13, 14

**Note: it says Jesus will come to collect His elect after the tribulation. After. The end.

Day 26

Eph. 1-4

Ephesians 1:10b, 11 - "In Him also we have obtained an inheritance, having been predestined according to His purpose who works all things after the counsel of His will...."

Maybe I'm just critical, but I am so tired of hearing Romans 8:28 quoted at me every five seconds. It's usually used as a picture of how God operates within our free will. Wow. Let's limit Him a little bit more, please.

Compare that here. Everything comes out of the counsel of His will. Nothing thwarts His plans. He does not plan things that must be changed because I decided to do something outside of those plans. He does not correct what I have done because He has no need to. He's too big for that.

I want to read more and I want to write more, but I am just in so much pain I need to sleep. God...I don't know what to say.

Day 25

I skipped yesterday. On purpose. Ugh. I know.

...Not gonna let it get me down!

Rom. 13-16

Romans 13:14 - "But put on the Lord Jesus Christ, and make no provision for the flesh in regard to its lusts."

Put Him on...wear Him. How do I wear Jesus and do the things He hates? How do I have Holy Spirit in me and think the way He hates? That's a challenge, do better!

Romans 14:19 - "So then let us pursue the things which make for peace and the building up of one another."

It is so easy here to get caught up in the game of tearing each other down. I know I've been with people before who seemed to think it was their sole purpose in life. I don't want to be like that. I really don't...and so many times I fail miserably.

Romans 16:19b - "I want you to be wise in what is good, and innocent in what is evil."

So many times I have heard (even from my own mouth) that we should try something to "know what it's like" or so we can "relate better" and "know what they're all going through." Pretty sure that's not what Paul is saying. At all.

Catch-up:

Mk. 7

Mark 7:37 - "And they were utterly astonished, saying, 'He has done all things well; He makes even the deaf to hear, and the dumb to speak.'"

I think this concept has been lost on our culture. Someone who never heard a thing in their life can suddenly hear. A man who has never spoken a word to anyone is suddenly able to speak completely coherently. Why are we not more amazed?!?!

Mark 8:21 - "And He was saying to them, 'Do you not yet understand?'"

I see Jesus as very sad here. They were worried about food immediately after seeing the four thousand fed and a seemingly short time since the five thousand. How soon they forgot! How little they understood of His character. How little I understand Him at all.

Mark 8:36 - "For what does it profit a man to gain the whole world, and forfeit his soul?"

This is one of my favourite verses of all time. This version especially I just love the wording of. Gain the whole world, but forfeit his soul. Forfeit...like when there are too few players on a team or there is no point in a humiliating defeat. Forfeit, as in freely give up. It's not a loss, it's a giveaway. Eternity is a long time, as I am discovering. There is no profit.

Day 24

Rom. 5-8

Romans 6:2b - "How shall we who died to sin still live in it?"

Fascinating. We were dead in our sins, He saved us, and now we live in that dead place by choice. Rather than dying to our sins daily, so often we choose to die in sin. Why do I let it get the better of me?

Romans 7:15 - "For that which I am doing, I do not understand; for I am not practicing what I would like to do, but I am doing the very thing I hate."

Ah! I would read this verse today. It's been on my mind non-stop. It's not an excuse, as some have claimed it. I see it as a blessed reminder that even Paul did what he knew he should not, but at the same time it is a challenge to be better.

Day 23

I am getting increasingly frustrated with myself and the way I spend my time. I seriously need to get my life on track.

Rom. 1-4

Romans 1:22, 23a - "Professing to be wise, they became fools, and exchanged the glory of the incorruptible God for an image in the form of corruptible man...."

Wisdom of men calls for men to worship themselves. Wisdom of the world makes us to worship things that can be understood in the world, expressed in images that we know. But it is the foolish things that shame the wise. God is incorruptible, and yet we are all the time choosing to trust in those things that are corruptible instead.

Romans 2:7 - "...to those who by perseverance in doing good seek for glory and honour and immortality, eternal life."

Persevere. When we do, we receive the crown of life. Sounds familiar...Revelation anyone?

Romans 2:29 - "But he is a Jew who is one inwardly; and circumcision is that which is of the heart, by the Spirit, not by the letter; and his praise is not from men, but from God."

Who cares about what is on the outside if the inside is not taken care of? Who wants a delicious looking sandwich if all the ingredients inside are moldy? I think Jesus spoke on this once...Pharisees, wash the inside of your cups instead of just the outside!

Romans 3:27 - "When then is boasting? It has been excluded. By what kind of law? Of works? No, but by a law of faith."

There is nothing to boast in if we cannot earn our salvation! Even if we choose it and God did not choose us, there is room for boasting. But there I go, getting "too controversial" again. Heh, but this is my blog, suckas! He chose me, therefore no boasting. End of my story, anyway.

Romans 3:31 - "Do we then nullify the Law through faith? May it never be! On the contrary, we establish the Law."

I am so tired of people saying that Jesus' death cancels out the Law! It doesn't! He kept telling people "You have heard this, but I tell you this." He wasn't nullifying anything, but going deeper into the Law. Faith is without legalism of the Law, yes. Faith, however, does not cancel out the Law. When we live in faith, we practice the Law.

Day 22

Get this: for about half the year, on this Bible reading plan, I always have a gospel on the go. So awesome!

1 Th. 4, 5; 2 Th. 1-3

1 Thessalonians 5:21 - "But examine everything carefully; hold fast to that which is good...."

This is read in light of not scorning prophetic words. So don't have disdain for them, but test them. and do it while holding fast to what I know is good! This is why I get so pumped and passionate about Scripture: it's the key to knowing what is good!

Catch-up:

Mk. 6

Day 21

So if you actually read this and note the inconsistency in my chapters...it's because I'm really bad at reading. And math.

Mt. 28; 1 Th. 1-3

I Thessalonians 2:4 - "...but just as we have been approved by God to be entrusted with the gospel, so we speak, not as pleasing men but God, who examines our hearts."

As soon as we become disciples, the call is to make more. This means we are then entrusted with the gospel. How often do I look on it as such a lofty calling? Rarely, if ever. The pleasing of men will count for nothing in the life to come, but the pleasing of God will always bring joy. He examines us, and He knows. I can do nothing to hide from Him.

Catch-up:

Job 21; Mk. 5

Mark 5:19 - "And [Jesus] did not let [the now healed demoniac come with Him], but He said to him, 'Go home to your people and report to them what great things the Lord has done for you, and how He had mercy on you.'"

What an amazing testimony this man must have had! And rather than taking him along for the ride and allowing him to attest to Jesus along the road, Jesus had him go back to his own people and talk about Him. I think this bears a strong message for a lot of Christians: stop trying to "go" with Jesus, and recognize that He's with you where you are! Instead, tell your story to the people around you and let God work in their lives through your testimony.

Mark 5:25-27 - "And a woman who had had a hemorrhage for twelve years, and had endured much at the hands of many physicians, and had spent all that she had and was not helped at all, but rather had grown worse, after hearing about Jesus, came up in the crowd behind Him and touched His cloak."

In FS a few weeks ago we were given several Bible people and were asked to choose the one we most identify with. I chose this woman. She had literally been the walking dead for twelve years; as an outcast because of her uncleanliness, she would have had no social life whatsoever and must have felt like absolutely nothing. And then Jesus comes into town. So she makes her way through the crowds, risking her life because she was making others unclean who could stone her for it (but what did she really have to lose, anyway?), and puts all her bets on this all-in. I have felt like the walking dead for a year and a half. When will I get to the point where I literally have nothing left to lose and "risk" it ALL on Him? Sometimes I think I'm there, and sometimes I just think I'm crazy for not doing it already. I want Him, I'm crazy about Him! His cloak is right there, and I'm just sitting, waiting, hoping it will brush up against me. Reach out and touch it!!!!!

Day 20

Last night was Ring Fest and I didn't do my devos. I'm so bad at this sometimes.

Mt. 23-25

Matthew 24:13 - "But the one who endures to the end, he shall be saved."

It's not about right now when the path seems clear. When times get tough, that is where the true test of my faith comes.

Day 19

Mt. 20-22

Matthew 21:37 - "But after [the landowner] sent his son to [the renters], saying, 'They will respect my son.'"

What a horrifyingly accurate picture of the choice God made. He sent prophet after prophet, all of whom were abused and killed. Every time I read this parable I want to yell out "don't do it!!" The son...oh, the Son.

Matthew 22:12 - "And [the king] said to him, 'Friend, how did you come in here without wedding clothes?' And he was speechless."

This man did not see it coming. He got in, thank goodness, and was ready to eat with everyone else. Unfortunately too many people today have the same attitude: God will let me into heaven if I just say the right words to get me in the gate. Barely scraping by is not good enough for God, though. He calls us to higher living, which is ironically epitomized by dying to self, and casts out all those who are not clothed as people who live in such a way. This man was surprised. It makes me wonder how many people will be surprised. "For many are called, but few are chosen."

Catch-up:

Job 22

Job 22:22, 23a - "Please receive instruction from His mouth, and establish His words in your heart. If you return to the Almighty, you will be restored...."

I think I've been too stubborn lately to truly get better. I need to establish His words in my heart and heed His instructions (He's a lot smarter than me). All I need do is return and He will restore me. Amazing!

Day 18

Everything feels like it's crashing in around me, and it's taking all my effort to deal with a level head. God, I can't fight this one on my own. Please help.

Mt. 17-19

Matthew 17:20b - "...for truly I say to you, if you have faith as a mustard seed, you shall say to this mountain, 'Move from here to there,' and it shall move; and nothing shall be impossible for you."

A mustard seed, though incredibly tiny, produces a huge plant. It grows kind of how our blackberries do: it takes over everything. At another point in Scripture it is described as growing larger than all the other plants in the garden. So if the seed of faith is planted in our hearts, how much then will it grow and consume all else? Perhaps, dare I say, enough to move a mountain?

Matthew 19:21 - "Jesus said to him, 'If you wish to be complete, go and sell your possessions and give to the poor, and you shall have treasure in heaven; and come, follow Me.'"

This is one of my favourite stories from the entire time Jesus was on earth. He was not saying that our holiness can be attained in poverty, but rather that a man must give up that which He holds dearest. There is the controversial passage in which Jesus talks about hating family if they want any part in His kingdom; He does not want us to hate, but actually wants us to give up loving anything more than Him.

And the rick young ruler walked away. It breaks my heart every time, for the man he could have been.

Catch-up:

Mk. 4

Mark 4:16, 17 - "And in a similar way these are the ones on whom seed was sown on the rocky places, who, when they receive the word, immediately receive it with joy; and they have no firm root in themselves, but are only temporary; then, when affliction or persecution arises because of the word, immediately they fall away."

The moment there is persecution of the word they receive, they fall away. They heard the word, took joy in the word, but in the end showed that they had no roots to begin with. If it's all on the surface, a person may fool everyone for awhile but in the end he will show his lack of roots. Let's teach people what they're getting themselves into so that when the word is attacked they are ready and do not fall away.

Mark 4:30-32

It's the parable of the mustard seed I just described above!! Way too funny! Oh God, You're way too much.

PS - only 4 days that require catch-up. Soooooo awesome!

Day 17

Soooooooooooooooooo tired, but I won't go to bed without this.

Mt. 14-16

Matthew 14:7 - "Thereupon [Herod] promised with an oath to give [the daughter of Herodias] whatever she asked."

So many careless oaths are made in the Bible, and they usually bite the person in the butt. Herod ends up having to kill John the Baptist because of this oath. If anything, it teaches me not to make them lightly...or at all.

Matthew 14

Wow, context! When Jesus found out about John's death, He went away in a boat to mourn. The crowds followed Him, however, and He healed and then fed them; this was the feeding of the 5000. Immediately after He sends the disciples on ahead of Him and walks on water to meet up with them. I had no idea this was all in such quick succession.

Day 16

I cannot describe right now. I feel a little bit better, then people tell me I'm better, then I feel even better. It is a ridiculous cycle.

Oh. And today is day 1 of 6 for FS entries...yay. Not.

Mt. 11-13

Matthew 11:29 - "Take My yoke upon you, and learn from Me, for I am gentle and humble in heart; and you shall find rest for your souls."

When we take on His yoke (remember, it's easy) we learn from Him. He is gentle with us when we're weary and heavy-laded; His humility brings us to our knees in sheer love and wonder. What rest!

Matthew 12:34 - "You brood of vipers, how can you, being evil, speak what is good? For the mouth speaks out of that which fills the heart."

Sometimes the things that come out of my mouth are shocking, but why should I be surprised? When I fill myself with dirt, what will come out but mud? And then there are other times when I am pleasantly surprised by the godly stuff...so what does it all mean? My heart is in transition.

Day 15

Barracuda!!! ARG!!!!!

Mt. 8-10

Matthew 10:28 – “And do not fear those who kill the body, but are unable to kill the soul; but rather fear Him who is able to destroy both soul and body in hell.”

It seems to all be about the fear of God today. Believers are not “safe” because we said a prayer once upon a time, we’re saved when we daily die to self and repent when we fall short. When, not if. God understands. What He will not stand for, however, is wilful sinning once we see the light.

Matthew 10:39 – “He who has found his life shall lose it, and he who has lost his life for My sake shall find it.”

I have been so caught up lately in myself that I am losing my life. How can I complain when I’m trying so hard to hold onto it? When I decide I’m fed up enough to lose it, then I will truly find it. God, help me.

Catch-up:

Mk. 3

Day 14

I missed a day. All-nighter writing a paper, I crawl into bed and my last thought is "dang I didn't do devos!" BUT. I am not going to beat myself up about it.

Mt. 5-7

Matthew 5:6 - "Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they shall be satisfied."

This is my desire. I want to be satisfied in Him. I was praying tonight for the strength to honour myself and some other people in my life, but at the end of the list I came to God, and oh! how I wanted to honour Him! I want to be righteous and to be satisfied in that hunger.

Matthew 5:40 - "And if anyone wants to sue you, and take your shirt, let him have your coat also."

I read this and almost skipped over it so I wouldn't have to think about it. If someone pulled a knife on me and asked for my wallet, would I offer my jewelry also? It sounds insane, but Jesus says that the wisdom of the wisest is as foolishness to Him.

Matthew 6:15 - "But if you do not forgive men, then your father will not forgive your transgressions."

Ouch. I was just thinking about that in the car, and I realized there is someone I need to let off the hook. I will not let him know or let my defenses down, but I need to forgive him without thinking of what is fair. Thank God that He is not fair!

Matthew 7:6 - "Do not give what is holy to dogs, and do not throw your pearls before swine, lest they trample them under their feet, and turn and tear you to pieces."

The things God is revealing me...I need to hold them closer to my heart. I cannot be so candid because I will get trampled. I need to treasure it for myself until it's time to put on a display :)

Catch-up:

Job 20

Day 13

Today, for the kabillionth time in six months, I heard a message on Moses, his calling, and the wilderness. I am so tired of the wilderness and hearing about it. I want out.

Ps. 124; 2 Cor. 11-13

2 Corinthians 12:9 - "And He said, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for power is perfected in weakness.' Most gladly, therefore, I will rather boast about my weaknesses, that the power of Christ may dwell in me."

When I am at my weakest, broken and trembling and without a thing, that is when He can use me powerfully. When I am emptied of all that holds me back from Him, I can be that vessel He longs to use. I long to be used.

2 Corinthians 12:21 - "I am afraid that when I come again my God may humiliate me before you, and I may mourn over many of those who have sinned in the past and not repented of the impurity, immorality and sensuality which they have practiced."

A faith without repentance is dead. Even Satan believes in God, as do his demons. Jesus tells us to repent and believe. And, not either/or. These are the things I have struggled with greatly in the past, so it rings so true in my life. My repentance just needs to keep on truckin'.

2 Corinthians 13:5 - "Test yourselves to see if you are in the faith; examine yourselves! Or do you not recognize this about yourselves, that Jesus Christ is in you - unless indeed you fail the test."

Paul is writing to believers! The sinner's prayer is not enough. Sanctification is a process, just as salvation is not a one time moment. We are called to constantly examine if we are still walking with God according to His terms.

Catch-up:

Job 19; Mark 1, 2

Job 19:25 - "And as for me, I know that my Redeemer lives, and at the last He will take His stand on the earth."

Job calls God his redeemer long before God comes to redeem. In fact, Job is looking to redemption in the next life because he does not see it happening in the present. What amazing faith to look at the shambles of his life and believe that God will win in the end and vindicate Job in justice.

Mark 1:18 - "And [Simon and Andrew] immediately left their nets and followed Him."

There was no second thought, no worry over leaving their lives behind, no hesitation. They heard the call and immediately took it to heart.

Day 12

Excuse: my blogger was TOTALLY messed up last night. I tried to post and it was not happening.

2 Cor. 7-10

2 Corinthians 7:6a – “But God, who comforts the depressed, comforted us....”

He doesn’t not see me. He sees me. He comforts me. I am not alone.

2 Corinthians 7:10 – “For the sorrow that is according to the will of God produces a repentance without regret, leading to salvation; but the sorrow of the world produces death.”

Sorrow is not always bad! The kind that God gives us in regards to our own sin, in particular. My repentance as a result of the sorrow is the good fruit that proves it was the right kind of sorrow. Hoooorah.

2 Corinthians 10:5 – “We are destroying speculations and every lofty thing raised up against the knowledge of God, and we are taking every thought captive to the obedience of Christ.”

This is what I was just reading about! It is the personal responsibility of every believer to know their faith for themselves and to stand upon the truth of the Bible. This includes all knowledge we have of God. Oh, and take those thoughts captive! Each one is a danger if it is allowed to multiply to two, three, eight thoughts. One is enough, thanks.

Catch-up:

Acts 28

Day 11

I just spent about 6 hours breathing in another religion which, unfortunately, tries to tie in Christianity. As a result, I am super excited to just drench myself in real Truth.

2 Cor. 3-6

2 Corinthians 3:5, 6 - "Not that we are adequate in ourselves to consider anything as coming from ourselves, but our adequacy is from God, who also made us adequate as servants of a new covenant, not of the letter, but of the Spirit; for the letter kills, but the Spirit gives life."

I love the word "adequate" because it perfectly fits: that is exactly what we are, adequate. But sometimes we even fall short of such a small word as adequate, in this case by choosing to still live under the old covenant of living by the letter of the law. When I am not careful, I fall within that category. It is not at all that I believe in the old covenant as a way to salvation; rather, I place unnecessary burden where it is not needed. I am so sorry for this, for all I bring is death.

2 Corinthians 3:18 - "But we all, with unveiled face beholding as in a mirror the glory of the Lord, are being transformed into the same image from glory to glory, just as from the Lord, the Spirit."

We no longer have to be in fear as Moses was that the glory would fade from his face; he veiled himself so that the people would not see it disappear. But! Because we are transformed from glory to glory, it will not fade. There is no fear. And best yet, the image we are being transformed into continually is that of our Saviour.

2 Corinthians 4:9 - "[We are] persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed...."

I feel like highlighting this entire chapter because it's so good, but here's one of the big ones. He does not forsake us in our persecutions! I am so thankful that I have never had to endure real persecution, but it is such a comfort to know that if I ever do, it is not because He has abandoned me. And though I am struck down (which, if you read my other blog, feels like a common occurrence), it is NOT the end of me! Remember Jeremiah 5:18!

2 Corinthians 4:16 - "Therefore we do not lose heart, but though our outer man is decaying, yet our inner man is being renewed day by day."

If I had all the time in the world, I would go into the next three verses as well! So wonderful. But this one...it has always touched my heart. I may see the world around me falling apart, my very body literally falling to pieces, but I can take heart that the part that matters is only growing stronger amidst the affliction.

2 Corinthians 5:15 - "He died for all, that they who live should no longer live for themselves, but for Him who died and rose again on their behalf."

When we become alive in Him, we must die to the flesh. It is only when we die with Him that we live with Him also. He died for me, therefore I must live only for Him.

Catch-up:

Job 18, Acts 27

Day 10

Celebration! There is no "percentage complete" to be reckoned, but it's been 10 days and I have stayed faithful to my promise. A few days I did not stay completely true to the half hour mark, but from now on it's non-negotiable, no matter how uncomfortable it makes others. God is revealing Himself...and maybe, slowly, it's beginning to change me.

And I'm really sad to be finishing Job...it's one of my all-time faves and it's sad to think that unless I'm doing extra reading it'll be a whole year.

Job 41, 42; 2 Cor. 1, 2

Job 41:11 - "Who has given to Me that I should repay him? Whatever is under the whole heaven is Mine."

I have nothing to offer Him. How foolish to think that anything in my possession is not His, to be used and given and kept as I see fit. Everything is His, on lend to me as long as He chooses. I have nothing. There is nothing to give and He owes me nothing.

Catch-up:

Acts 26; Ps. 114

Acts 26:8 - "Why is it considered incredible among you people if God does raise the dead?"

This has always been a thought of mine when the Sadducees would argue against resurrection from the dead in the gospels. Is it too great a thing for God to do? Is it outside His character? Is it sin or an evil act? Then I do not understand why it is seen as incredible.

Day 9

I almost give up on this every single day. Last second I remember that I'll hate myself if I don't and then my record on here will show it forever. I don't know if that's a good enough reason for now or not.

Ps. 149; 1 Cor. 15, 16

1 Corinthians 15:33 - "Do not be deceived: 'Bad company corrupts good morals.'"

I don't yet know how to work this in with everything else. To minister to the poor, broken-hearted, down-trodden, rebellious sinners, I need to with them. So how do I not become corrupt? I cannot be content to sit in Christian pow-wows and think that is enough.

1 Corinthians 16:10 - "Let all that you do be done in love."

All. He just did over a chapter on love and how anything without it is nothing. All.

Catch-up:

Job 17; Acts 24, 25

Day 8

Job 39, 40; 1 Cor. 13, 14

Job 40:4 - "Behold, I am insignificant; what can I reply to Thee? I lay my hand on my mouth."

Behold. I am insignificant. You are not. I am insignificant and to You I can say nothing.

Job 40:8b - "Will you condemn Me that you may be justified?"

Whenever I try to justify my behaviour that is contrary to God, I turn it around on Him. Either I blaspheme by insinuating that my sin is in any way bearable in His sight, or I condemn Him by saying that He is wrong while I am right. I am so foolish.

1 Corinthians 13:2 - "And if I have the gift of prophecy, and know all mysteries and all knowledge; and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing."

I am nothing. Hm. I used to walk openly and expressively in these gifts, in prophecy, knowledge and faith. And I always wanted more. I wanted to know it all, hear it all, see it all, command all mountains and so much more. But it was devoid of love. Maybe not entirely, but essentially. I knew so much and heard so much and believed so much, but was nothing and knew, deep down, how nothing I was. I stopped walking in those things; they're still there, always springing up when I least expect them, but I no longer live daily in them. Why? I am still learning my own insignificance. I am learning about His love for me, how to love Him, and how to love myself. Until then, I cannot walk in those gifts the same way knowing it is all for naught without love.

1 Corinthians 13:12 - "For now we see in a mirror dimly, but then face to face; now I know in part, but then I shall know fully just as I also have been fully known."

I read this and I felt a piece of myself slip into place. I have been fully known. My thoughts, hurts, desires, passions, past, future, mistakes, misdemeanors, hopes and doubts, all have been fully known. I am not alone in this. I am not alone.

Day 7

Posted late because internet was stupid last night.

Job 37, 38; 1 Cor. 12

Job 38:12 – “Have you ever in your life commanded the morning, and caused the dawn to know its place...?”

God is teaching Job his place.

I have done none of these things. To speak as if I know anything when there is so much to know is the same as suggesting I know as much as God; to command God is to say that everything is under me. Ludicrous.

Day 6

This is very quickly becoming my favourite part of the day. It's strange how much I really missed this...I tried to do the "right" thing and get up early to do my devos, but in the end I was just plain discouraged because, let's face it, I am not a morning person. I would really like to be, but it's just not for me. In fact, I rarely come alive until after 10pm. Therefore, giving God the half hour before bed is actually giving Him my best time of day. ...Well, unless I've waited so long that I'm falling asleep all over Matthew (the book, not some random man in my room). Anyways...I really missed this.

Ps. 122; 1 Cor. 9-11

Psalm 122:1 - "I was glad when they said to me, 'Let us go to the house of the Lord.'"

Is this not what I just said?! Except...well, slightly different. But really! Ah, the sense of humour once again.

1 Corinthians 9:16 - "For if I preach the gospel, I have nothing to boast of, for I am under compulsion; for woe is me if I do not preach the gospel."

Go Paul! I actually just wrote something so similar to this in my paper tonight, about how I have to do the ministry God has called me to. Without doing so, I will just be a mess of regret and what-could-have-been's.

1 Corinthians 9:27 - "...but I buffet my body and make it my slave, lest possibly, after I have preached to others, I myself should be disqualified."

What is the point if I do everything I am supposed to do, and then fail myself in the end? Run the race with endurance, Leanne. It'll be worth it.

1 Corinthians 11:32 - "But when we are judged, we are disciplined by the Lord in order that we may not be condemned along with the world."

Discipline from God is good...take it.

Day 5

Job 35, 36; 1 Cor. 7, 8

Job 35:6-7 - "If you have sinned, what do you accomplish against Him? And if your transgressions are many, what do you do to Him? If you are righteous, what do you give to Him? Or what does He receive from your hand?"

I cannot get back at God by sinning against Him. It sounds silly saying it in words. And I cannot win more love by being righteous. This almost has a hopeless tone if left as is, but I think it's amazing to think of how BIG that makes Him. It's beyond my understanding.

Catch-up:

Acts 22, 23

Day 4

If anyone actually reads this, please, if you ever see that I missed a day, talk to me about it. I need that kind of accountability.

Job 34; 1 Cor. 4-6

Job 34:29 - "When He keeps quiet, who can condemn? And when He hides His face, who then can behold Him, that is,, in regard to both nation and man?"

I don't hear Him right now - and when I do, it seems to be trivial things, which is silly to think because as if God has ever said a trivial thing! - and I don't know if that is because He is silent or I refuse to hear Him. But who am I to say anything against Him, even if He is keeping silent? If I don't see Him in the desert...my only job is to seek Him; if He wants to be found, He will be.

1 Corinthains 6:12 - "All things are lawful for me, but not all things are profitable. All things are lawful for me, but I will not be mastered by anything."

The things that I consider "my rights" are usually the things that do not profit me one bit. In fact, they end up mastering me instead of the other way around. I need to stay focused! Eye on the real prize, baby!

1 Corinthians 6:20 - "For you have been bought with a price: therefore glorify God with your body."

Wow. The price? Jesus' emptying of so many things to be on my level; Jesus' blood; His life, His body. He gave His for me. I am not my own.

Catch-up:

Job 16; Acts 21

Acts 21:13 - "Then Paul answered, 'What are you doing, weeping and breaking my heart? For I am ready not only to be bound, but even to die at Jerusalem for the name of the Lord Jesus.'"

I need to be careful to be the kind of person who never discourages someone from doing what God has asked them to do. I do not want to quench the Spirit on behalf of someone else. This is also a lesson in ignoring the pleas of others to not go where God has called. It is heartbreaking to hear what part of me desperately wants to hear, when I know in the depths of my soul that I will do what He has asked anyway.

Day 3

Persevering, even when I don't feel Him.

Job 33; 1 Cor. 1-3

Job 33:4 - "The Spirit of God has made me, and the breath of the Almighty gives me life."

In Systematic Theology this week we discussed roles of the Trinity and someone asked about the Spirit's role in creation. Apparently He was played a key role.

Also, this gave me the picture of mouth-to-mouth, my life coming straight from Him. Super cool.

Job 33:13 - "Why do you complain against Him, that He does not give an account of all His doings?"

Who am I to ask God to explain Himself to me? How could I even possibly understand if He were to begin? He is God, and I most certainly am not.

1 Corinthians 1:18 - "For the word of the cross is to those who are perishing foolishness, but to us who are being saved it is the power of God."

It was at the cross that Christ gained power over death, even though it seemed that death had conquered Him. Worldly wisdom calls this foolishness, but we need to know better! His wisdom is far better than ours could ever be.

1 Corinthians 3:3 - "For since there is jealousy and strife among you, are you not fleshly, and are you not walking like mere men?"

"Mere men" suggests that we are capable of so much more in Christ. If we truly have the mind of Jesus (2:16), then it is possibly to be more than just men, slaves to our fleshly lusts. He has given us so much more.

1 Corinthians 3:18 - "Let no man deceive himself. If any man among you thinks that he is wise in this age, let him become foolish that he may become wise."

This is one of my huge stumbling blocks. It was actually pointed out to me by a teacher, in love, who barely knows me yet that this will probably be a hard thing to overcome for me. I like to know things, I like to be right, and I like to be proved wrong so I can believe what is right and know why. This, however, can turn into a huge issue of pride very quickly.

Catch-up:

Acts 20

Day 2

So, two days in a row. This must be some kind of record.

I want to do this better...I want to do it right. I should make some kind of commitment to spending time with God outside of this half hour chunk every night. What I really want to do is go on walks with Him. I should invest in an umbrella, a good raincoat, and a coffee and just...walk with Him :)

Job 31, 32; Gal. 5, 6

Job 31:15 - "Did not He who made me in the womb make him, and the same One fashion us in the womb?"

This verse is talking about in disagreements how God would not favor one over the other. God is just, and could not be so if He did not operate in absolute truth with absolute justice. His grace is an ocean unto itself, so why is that not enough? Why, after all the grace shown to me, do I turn around and ask God not to show that same grace to someone who has wronged me?

Galatians 5:1 - "It is for freedom that Christ set us free; therefore keep standing firm and do not be subject again to a yoke of slavery."

I was randomly writing the other day, and it was on the subject of freedom. "Freedom is never free, as the cost is never less than blood, love, or soul." He set us free to walk in the freedom He bought. He paid for it with so much more than His life; the price will never be fully comprehensible to us. So don't turn back! Don't be the Israelites who cried out again to be slaves rather than walk in faith that God's freedom would be better if they would only trust.

Galatians 5:24 - "Now those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires."

I am not my own because I belong to Him. The flesh no longer lives, but claws its way to the surface trying to regain strength by whispering the small things into my ears until the big things seem as nothing. But He died to save me from myself! Hallelujah!

Catch-up:

Acts 19

Day 1

I am going to do things slightly different this time.

I am reading from the reading program, have been for several months, but the last few weeks have been a strain.

In order to not get discouraged, I will simply forget about days I miss and go back when I have extra time. Except that I won't miss. I've made a commitment with God to spend 30 minutes every day with Him. I cannot afford to miss.

I will also journal different. I need to stop doing this the way I should and do it for me.

Job 30; Ps. 120; Gal. 3, 4

Job 30:20 - "I cry out to Thee for help, but Thou dost not answer me."

I do not feel heard. I feel abandoned.

Haha, oh irony.

Psalm 120:1 - "In my trouble I cried to the Lord, and He answered me."

If this is Your way of answering me, You have quite the sense of humour...as always.

Galatians 4:16 - "Have I therefore become your enemy by telling you the truth?"

I am so tired of fake relationships where we cannot just be honest with each other. Sure if I am choosing to sin and liking it, I won't appreciate someone calling me out in the moment, but I know I will later. That is why I am honest with others too. I would rather do that and have it out of my hands than to see and do nothing. I care too much not to.

Catch-up:

Job 15

Job 15:11 - "Are the consolations of God too small for you, even the word spoken gently with you?"

I give up on Him too easily. Sometimes I don't even try to hear Him anymore. So what exactly am I waiting for? Who could ever come along with greater consolation than His?