Day 36

Jn. 15-18

John 15:8 - "By this is My Father glorified, that you bear much fruit, and so prove to be my disciples."

I need to take a look at my life. No fruit means not abiding in Him and not glorifying Him. But check. Am I even in season?

John 16:7 - "But I tell you the truth, it is to your advantage that I go away; for if I do not go away, the Helper shall not come to you; but if I go, I will send Him to you."

We complain that we cannot see God, that we do not have the advantage the disciples had in having Jesus in His fleshly form. But look! We are the ones with the advantage.

Catch-up:

Ps. 125; Mt. 26

Day 35

I do devotions. Look at me go.

Jn. 9-11

John 9:25 - "He therefore answered, 'Whether He is a sinner, I do not know; one thing I do know, that, whereas I was blind, now I see.'"

Sometimes experience is not such a bad thing to base faith on. Would this man ever have believed had he not been healed? We'll never know. But Jesus didn't do signs and wonders for fun, but to bring hope and faith and glory to God. This man knew he would be thrown out of the synagogue and society for such a statement, but the evidence of his healing compelled him. It is not so bad to ask for miracles.

John 11:35 - "Jesus wept."

Not quaint, not funny. He was real. He had a heart and emotions and compassion. His friend died and He mourned with everyone else, even while knowing He was about to raise Lazarus. This makes me believe that even knowing the good that will come of hard situations, He feels my pain with me. He may not be rocked by emotions or situations, but He is a relational, living God.

Catch-up:

Mt. 4

Matthew 4:17 - "From that time Jesus began to preach and say, 'Repent, for the kingdom of heaven is at hand.'"

These were Jesus' first words that He taught. He did not ask them to love or say that He loved or anything of the sort...He told them to repent. He asked for them to turn from themselves and the world so that they were facing Him with open hearts.

Day 34

I have been the worst. But hello! Christmas break. It'll happen.

And even if I mess up, I will not get down on myself for it.

The end.

Jn. 7, 8

John 7:18 - "He who speaks from himself seeks his own glory; but He who is seeking the glory of the One who sent Him, He is true, and there is no unrighteousness in Him."

Jesus sought the Father's glory in all actions and deeds. If there be any selfish way in me then it is for my own glory, even if the words are true and noble; it is the heart behind them that counts.

John 7:30 - "They were seeking therefore to seize Him; and no man laid his hand on Him, because His hour had not yet come."

God's perfect provision and timing are so evident here. Jesus went up to a festival He knew He shouldn't be at because they were seeking to kill Him and there were lots of men there who were angry enough to kill Him for His teachings, yet they could do nothing because His time had not yet come. I'm going to go out on a limb here and say that is not just a figure of speech.

John 8:11 - "And she said, 'No one, Lord.' And Jesus said, 'Neither do I condemn you; go your way. From now on sin no more.'"

This passage touches me so much it's unbelievable. Things to notice:

1. She did not ask forgiveness. She did not beg from what we can see, she only awaited judgment knowing she was in the wrong.
2. So many people put stock in what He wrote in the sand that we will never know, but most important are His words. It says that they heard Him and left. Heard.
3. He simply told her to go on and stop sinning. There was no condemnation or guilt trips or probationary periods. He wanted her heart to change.

He forgives, then forgets. What a God.

Catch-up:

Mt. 3

Day 33

Really quick! Almost done all work, but must put in some time before I am too tired!!!

Isa. 40

Isaiah 40:28a - "Do you not know? Have you not heard? The Everlasting God, the Lord, the Creator of the ends of the earth does not become weary or tired."

What relief. I am exhausted and nearly at the end of myself, but He has not changed. He is still vibrant and alive and awake and all things new. He is not going to fall asleep on me.

Day 32

I am making this happen! I have studying to do, but this is more important. It has to be.

Jas. 1-5

James 1:4 - "And let endurance have its perfect result, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing."

Ah, to endure! The bane of my existence lately. But I need to. And imagine, at the end, being perfect, complete, mature, not lacking. It will be worth it in the end.

James 1:20 - "For the anger of man does not achieve the righteousness of God."

Big lesson. My anger accomplishes nothing for His righteousness. That's a hard one to swallow.

James 4:3 - "You ask and do not receive, because you ask with wrong motives, so that you may spend it on your pleasures."

We like to quote "Ask and you will receive...", but this one is not as popular. My motives are rarely completely pure. I would love to change that.

James 4:17 - "Therefore, to one who knows the right thing to do, and does not do it, to him it is sin."

Wow. Harsh. Difficult to digest. Now that I am aware of certain things in my life I have to abstain from, they become sin for me to take part in. I do not know how to fight that...God, I am sorry.

Day 31

Sleepy. Must...go...on.

Heb. 9-11

Hebrews 10:14 - "For by one offering He has perfected for all time those who are sanctified."

How amazingly glorious is it that I have been perfected? No matter what I do wrong or mess up or excel in, He already sees me perfect. Wow.

Hebrews 10:22 - "Let us draw near with a sincere heart in full assurance of faith, having our hearts sprinkled clean from an evil conscience and our bodies washed with pure water."

This, to me, is the epitome of refreshment. It reminds me of when I was working up in Merrit and Adam and I needed to shower, so we went to this crazy fast and shallow mountain stream. It was ice cold, and when we sat down it was up to our waists, so to wash our hair we had to lay back under the water. Refreshment, especially in that kind of dry, ridiculously hot weather. The heart is sprinkled clean, the body is doused. Beautiful.

Hebrews 10:29 - "How much severer punishment do you think he will deserve who has trampled under foot the Son of God, and has regarded as unclean the blood of the covenant by which he was sanctified, and has insulted the Spirit of grace?"

Wow. I wrote however long ago above this passage: "This brings it down to a choice, and shames us for ever considering the alternative." How true! We uphold Him, or trample Him. We acknowledge Him, or we ask Him not to acknowledge us. We glorify Him, or glorify ourselves. What's it going to be?

Hebrews 11:15 - "And indeed if they had been thinking about that country from which they went out, they would have had opportunity to return."

If I wanted to go back to the old life, the old country, I could have at any moment over the last few months. But my eyes have been somewhere else. I don't want to get down on where I am and take my eyes off God in the process. Those men and women of faith were truly incredible.

Hebrews 11:37-38a - "They were stoned, they were sawn in two, they were tempted, they were put to death with the sword; they went about in sheepskins, in goatskins, being destitute, afflicted, ill-treated (men of whom the world was not worthy)."

That last bit always gets me...the world was not worthy of these men. They saw God and therefore did not need to see everything around them. It made them too good for this world. I want to be far too good for this world.

Day 30

I am getting really bad at this. And by bad at this, I mean I am getting lazier and coming up with worse excuses. Ugh.

Heb. 5-8

Hebrews 5:12 - "For though by this time you ought to be teachers, you have need again for someone to teach you the elementary principles of the oracles of God, and you have come to need milk and not solid food."

This jumped out at me like crazy! Why? Not necessarily because I cannot handle His words, but because the elementary stuff is still so big for me. He is big! Wow! He is holy! Wow! Milk.

Hebrews 7:28 - "For th Law appoints men as high priests who are weak, but the word of the oath, which came after the Law, appoints a Son, made perfect forever."

This struck me because it counts Jesus as strong; He is the very opposite of weak men who attempted to stand between God and man. He was anything but weak. He threw Himself on the altar because He knew it was the only way...that is strength.

Catch-up:

Matthew 1, 2

Day 29

2 Tim. 1-4

2 Timothy 1:11 - "...[the gospel], for which I was appointed a preacher and an apostle and a teacher."

Boom! It's like the parable of the talents, there is not just one gift for everyone. I hate feeling like I should feel guilty for having more than one. Sick, Paul. Sick.

2 Timothy 2:24 - "And the Lord's bond-servant must not be quarrelsome, but be kind to all, able to teach, patient when wronged...."

Ah, a challenge. How to be patient when wronged? Extremely, extremely difficult.

2 Timothy 4:7 - "I have fought the good fight, I have finished the course, I have kept the faith."

Every time I see this verse it reminds me of a frame that someone I know has in her house with this verse in it to commemorate her husband who died. It's bittersweet...the verse. The story is only sad.

Day 28

Tons of homework is no excuse. So here I am in Denny's at 2am, and I am reading just because I miss it so much.

Ps. 139

Psalm 139:3b - "You are intimately acquainted with all my ways."

Intimately acquainted. What a rockstar. I know that doesn't even begin to describe it, but wow. It gives me tingles. Actually, this entire chapter does that. Be prepared for lots of tingly comments.

Psalm 139:5 - "You have enclosed me behind and before, and laid Your hand upon me."

This gives me comfort, especially considering how things have been going lately with my health and the car accidents from hell. But He encloses me. It's comforting.

Psalm 139:8 - "If I ascend to heaven, You are there; if I make my bed in Sheol, behold, You are there."

I don't think I'm going to make it through the whole chapter at this rate.

So if I actually live the way I should and ascend my own way to heaven, He's with me. And if I make my own bed in hell and lie in it, He's there too. Even when I do it to myself, He just sits at my bedside and says "little girl, rise!" Biggest smile.

I made it!! There is too much meat in this. I feel like I could read it every day and never get enough, never lose the awe of it. David knew You. I want to know you, know you, too.

Day 27

Eph. 5, 6; Ps. 119:1-80

Ephesians 5:33 - "Nevertheless let each individual among you also love his own wife even as himself; and let the wife see to it that she respect her husband."

So to those who say that a man needs love as much as respect or a woman respect as much as love, the Bible apparently begs to differ. These are the essentials.

Ephesians 6:15 - "...and having shod your feet with the preparation of the gospel of peace...."

Before I go anywhere, I put on shoes. At least anywhere I'm serious about. The preparation of the gospel. Hm. I need to know it to be prepared in it. And that is what carries me through the battle.

Psalm 119:71 - "It is good for me that I was afflicted, that I may learn Thy statutes."

Ah, the "for your own good" thing again. It's true. In my afflictions is when I learn the most. In my failures, I learn what it is He desires of me.

Catch-up:

Mk. 13, 14

**Note: it says Jesus will come to collect His elect after the tribulation. After. The end.

Day 26

Eph. 1-4

Ephesians 1:10b, 11 - "In Him also we have obtained an inheritance, having been predestined according to His purpose who works all things after the counsel of His will...."

Maybe I'm just critical, but I am so tired of hearing Romans 8:28 quoted at me every five seconds. It's usually used as a picture of how God operates within our free will. Wow. Let's limit Him a little bit more, please.

Compare that here. Everything comes out of the counsel of His will. Nothing thwarts His plans. He does not plan things that must be changed because I decided to do something outside of those plans. He does not correct what I have done because He has no need to. He's too big for that.

I want to read more and I want to write more, but I am just in so much pain I need to sleep. God...I don't know what to say.

Day 25

I skipped yesterday. On purpose. Ugh. I know.

...Not gonna let it get me down!

Rom. 13-16

Romans 13:14 - "But put on the Lord Jesus Christ, and make no provision for the flesh in regard to its lusts."

Put Him on...wear Him. How do I wear Jesus and do the things He hates? How do I have Holy Spirit in me and think the way He hates? That's a challenge, do better!

Romans 14:19 - "So then let us pursue the things which make for peace and the building up of one another."

It is so easy here to get caught up in the game of tearing each other down. I know I've been with people before who seemed to think it was their sole purpose in life. I don't want to be like that. I really don't...and so many times I fail miserably.

Romans 16:19b - "I want you to be wise in what is good, and innocent in what is evil."

So many times I have heard (even from my own mouth) that we should try something to "know what it's like" or so we can "relate better" and "know what they're all going through." Pretty sure that's not what Paul is saying. At all.

Catch-up:

Mk. 7

Mark 7:37 - "And they were utterly astonished, saying, 'He has done all things well; He makes even the deaf to hear, and the dumb to speak.'"

I think this concept has been lost on our culture. Someone who never heard a thing in their life can suddenly hear. A man who has never spoken a word to anyone is suddenly able to speak completely coherently. Why are we not more amazed?!?!

Mark 8:21 - "And He was saying to them, 'Do you not yet understand?'"

I see Jesus as very sad here. They were worried about food immediately after seeing the four thousand fed and a seemingly short time since the five thousand. How soon they forgot! How little they understood of His character. How little I understand Him at all.

Mark 8:36 - "For what does it profit a man to gain the whole world, and forfeit his soul?"

This is one of my favourite verses of all time. This version especially I just love the wording of. Gain the whole world, but forfeit his soul. Forfeit...like when there are too few players on a team or there is no point in a humiliating defeat. Forfeit, as in freely give up. It's not a loss, it's a giveaway. Eternity is a long time, as I am discovering. There is no profit.

Day 24

Rom. 5-8

Romans 6:2b - "How shall we who died to sin still live in it?"

Fascinating. We were dead in our sins, He saved us, and now we live in that dead place by choice. Rather than dying to our sins daily, so often we choose to die in sin. Why do I let it get the better of me?

Romans 7:15 - "For that which I am doing, I do not understand; for I am not practicing what I would like to do, but I am doing the very thing I hate."

Ah! I would read this verse today. It's been on my mind non-stop. It's not an excuse, as some have claimed it. I see it as a blessed reminder that even Paul did what he knew he should not, but at the same time it is a challenge to be better.

Day 23

I am getting increasingly frustrated with myself and the way I spend my time. I seriously need to get my life on track.

Rom. 1-4

Romans 1:22, 23a - "Professing to be wise, they became fools, and exchanged the glory of the incorruptible God for an image in the form of corruptible man...."

Wisdom of men calls for men to worship themselves. Wisdom of the world makes us to worship things that can be understood in the world, expressed in images that we know. But it is the foolish things that shame the wise. God is incorruptible, and yet we are all the time choosing to trust in those things that are corruptible instead.

Romans 2:7 - "...to those who by perseverance in doing good seek for glory and honour and immortality, eternal life."

Persevere. When we do, we receive the crown of life. Sounds familiar...Revelation anyone?

Romans 2:29 - "But he is a Jew who is one inwardly; and circumcision is that which is of the heart, by the Spirit, not by the letter; and his praise is not from men, but from God."

Who cares about what is on the outside if the inside is not taken care of? Who wants a delicious looking sandwich if all the ingredients inside are moldy? I think Jesus spoke on this once...Pharisees, wash the inside of your cups instead of just the outside!

Romans 3:27 - "When then is boasting? It has been excluded. By what kind of law? Of works? No, but by a law of faith."

There is nothing to boast in if we cannot earn our salvation! Even if we choose it and God did not choose us, there is room for boasting. But there I go, getting "too controversial" again. Heh, but this is my blog, suckas! He chose me, therefore no boasting. End of my story, anyway.

Romans 3:31 - "Do we then nullify the Law through faith? May it never be! On the contrary, we establish the Law."

I am so tired of people saying that Jesus' death cancels out the Law! It doesn't! He kept telling people "You have heard this, but I tell you this." He wasn't nullifying anything, but going deeper into the Law. Faith is without legalism of the Law, yes. Faith, however, does not cancel out the Law. When we live in faith, we practice the Law.