Job 40:4 - "Behold, I am insignificant; what can I reply to Thee? I lay my hand on my mouth."
Behold. I am insignificant. You are not. I am insignificant and to You I can say nothing.
Job 40:8b - "Will you condemn Me that you may be justified?"
Whenever I try to justify my behaviour that is contrary to God, I turn it around on Him. Either I blaspheme by insinuating that my sin is in any way bearable in His sight, or I condemn Him by saying that He is wrong while I am right. I am so foolish.
1 Corinthians 13:2 - "And if I have the gift of prophecy, and know all mysteries and all knowledge; and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing."
I am nothing. Hm. I used to walk openly and expressively in these gifts, in prophecy, knowledge and faith. And I always wanted more. I wanted to know it all, hear it all, see it all, command all mountains and so much more. But it was devoid of love. Maybe not entirely, but essentially. I knew so much and heard so much and believed so much, but was nothing and knew, deep down, how nothing I was. I stopped walking in those things; they're still there, always springing up when I least expect them, but I no longer live daily in them. Why? I am still learning my own insignificance. I am learning about His love for me, how to love Him, and how to love myself. Until then, I cannot walk in those gifts the same way knowing it is all for naught without love.
1 Corinthians 13:12 - "For now we see in a mirror dimly, but then face to face; now I know in part, but then I shall know fully just as I also have been fully known."
I read this and I felt a piece of myself slip into place. I have been fully known. My thoughts, hurts, desires, passions, past, future, mistakes, misdemeanors, hopes and doubts, all have been fully known. I am not alone in this. I am not alone.
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