Day 6

This is very quickly becoming my favourite part of the day. It's strange how much I really missed this...I tried to do the "right" thing and get up early to do my devos, but in the end I was just plain discouraged because, let's face it, I am not a morning person. I would really like to be, but it's just not for me. In fact, I rarely come alive until after 10pm. Therefore, giving God the half hour before bed is actually giving Him my best time of day. ...Well, unless I've waited so long that I'm falling asleep all over Matthew (the book, not some random man in my room). Anyways...I really missed this.

Ps. 122; 1 Cor. 9-11

Psalm 122:1 - "I was glad when they said to me, 'Let us go to the house of the Lord.'"

Is this not what I just said?! Except...well, slightly different. But really! Ah, the sense of humour once again.

1 Corinthians 9:16 - "For if I preach the gospel, I have nothing to boast of, for I am under compulsion; for woe is me if I do not preach the gospel."

Go Paul! I actually just wrote something so similar to this in my paper tonight, about how I have to do the ministry God has called me to. Without doing so, I will just be a mess of regret and what-could-have-been's.

1 Corinthians 9:27 - "...but I buffet my body and make it my slave, lest possibly, after I have preached to others, I myself should be disqualified."

What is the point if I do everything I am supposed to do, and then fail myself in the end? Run the race with endurance, Leanne. It'll be worth it.

1 Corinthians 11:32 - "But when we are judged, we are disciplined by the Lord in order that we may not be condemned along with the world."

Discipline from God is good...take it.

Day 5

Job 35, 36; 1 Cor. 7, 8

Job 35:6-7 - "If you have sinned, what do you accomplish against Him? And if your transgressions are many, what do you do to Him? If you are righteous, what do you give to Him? Or what does He receive from your hand?"

I cannot get back at God by sinning against Him. It sounds silly saying it in words. And I cannot win more love by being righteous. This almost has a hopeless tone if left as is, but I think it's amazing to think of how BIG that makes Him. It's beyond my understanding.

Catch-up:

Acts 22, 23

Day 4

If anyone actually reads this, please, if you ever see that I missed a day, talk to me about it. I need that kind of accountability.

Job 34; 1 Cor. 4-6

Job 34:29 - "When He keeps quiet, who can condemn? And when He hides His face, who then can behold Him, that is,, in regard to both nation and man?"

I don't hear Him right now - and when I do, it seems to be trivial things, which is silly to think because as if God has ever said a trivial thing! - and I don't know if that is because He is silent or I refuse to hear Him. But who am I to say anything against Him, even if He is keeping silent? If I don't see Him in the desert...my only job is to seek Him; if He wants to be found, He will be.

1 Corinthains 6:12 - "All things are lawful for me, but not all things are profitable. All things are lawful for me, but I will not be mastered by anything."

The things that I consider "my rights" are usually the things that do not profit me one bit. In fact, they end up mastering me instead of the other way around. I need to stay focused! Eye on the real prize, baby!

1 Corinthians 6:20 - "For you have been bought with a price: therefore glorify God with your body."

Wow. The price? Jesus' emptying of so many things to be on my level; Jesus' blood; His life, His body. He gave His for me. I am not my own.

Catch-up:

Job 16; Acts 21

Acts 21:13 - "Then Paul answered, 'What are you doing, weeping and breaking my heart? For I am ready not only to be bound, but even to die at Jerusalem for the name of the Lord Jesus.'"

I need to be careful to be the kind of person who never discourages someone from doing what God has asked them to do. I do not want to quench the Spirit on behalf of someone else. This is also a lesson in ignoring the pleas of others to not go where God has called. It is heartbreaking to hear what part of me desperately wants to hear, when I know in the depths of my soul that I will do what He has asked anyway.

Day 3

Persevering, even when I don't feel Him.

Job 33; 1 Cor. 1-3

Job 33:4 - "The Spirit of God has made me, and the breath of the Almighty gives me life."

In Systematic Theology this week we discussed roles of the Trinity and someone asked about the Spirit's role in creation. Apparently He was played a key role.

Also, this gave me the picture of mouth-to-mouth, my life coming straight from Him. Super cool.

Job 33:13 - "Why do you complain against Him, that He does not give an account of all His doings?"

Who am I to ask God to explain Himself to me? How could I even possibly understand if He were to begin? He is God, and I most certainly am not.

1 Corinthians 1:18 - "For the word of the cross is to those who are perishing foolishness, but to us who are being saved it is the power of God."

It was at the cross that Christ gained power over death, even though it seemed that death had conquered Him. Worldly wisdom calls this foolishness, but we need to know better! His wisdom is far better than ours could ever be.

1 Corinthians 3:3 - "For since there is jealousy and strife among you, are you not fleshly, and are you not walking like mere men?"

"Mere men" suggests that we are capable of so much more in Christ. If we truly have the mind of Jesus (2:16), then it is possibly to be more than just men, slaves to our fleshly lusts. He has given us so much more.

1 Corinthians 3:18 - "Let no man deceive himself. If any man among you thinks that he is wise in this age, let him become foolish that he may become wise."

This is one of my huge stumbling blocks. It was actually pointed out to me by a teacher, in love, who barely knows me yet that this will probably be a hard thing to overcome for me. I like to know things, I like to be right, and I like to be proved wrong so I can believe what is right and know why. This, however, can turn into a huge issue of pride very quickly.

Catch-up:

Acts 20

Day 2

So, two days in a row. This must be some kind of record.

I want to do this better...I want to do it right. I should make some kind of commitment to spending time with God outside of this half hour chunk every night. What I really want to do is go on walks with Him. I should invest in an umbrella, a good raincoat, and a coffee and just...walk with Him :)

Job 31, 32; Gal. 5, 6

Job 31:15 - "Did not He who made me in the womb make him, and the same One fashion us in the womb?"

This verse is talking about in disagreements how God would not favor one over the other. God is just, and could not be so if He did not operate in absolute truth with absolute justice. His grace is an ocean unto itself, so why is that not enough? Why, after all the grace shown to me, do I turn around and ask God not to show that same grace to someone who has wronged me?

Galatians 5:1 - "It is for freedom that Christ set us free; therefore keep standing firm and do not be subject again to a yoke of slavery."

I was randomly writing the other day, and it was on the subject of freedom. "Freedom is never free, as the cost is never less than blood, love, or soul." He set us free to walk in the freedom He bought. He paid for it with so much more than His life; the price will never be fully comprehensible to us. So don't turn back! Don't be the Israelites who cried out again to be slaves rather than walk in faith that God's freedom would be better if they would only trust.

Galatians 5:24 - "Now those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires."

I am not my own because I belong to Him. The flesh no longer lives, but claws its way to the surface trying to regain strength by whispering the small things into my ears until the big things seem as nothing. But He died to save me from myself! Hallelujah!

Catch-up:

Acts 19

Day 1

I am going to do things slightly different this time.

I am reading from the reading program, have been for several months, but the last few weeks have been a strain.

In order to not get discouraged, I will simply forget about days I miss and go back when I have extra time. Except that I won't miss. I've made a commitment with God to spend 30 minutes every day with Him. I cannot afford to miss.

I will also journal different. I need to stop doing this the way I should and do it for me.

Job 30; Ps. 120; Gal. 3, 4

Job 30:20 - "I cry out to Thee for help, but Thou dost not answer me."

I do not feel heard. I feel abandoned.

Haha, oh irony.

Psalm 120:1 - "In my trouble I cried to the Lord, and He answered me."

If this is Your way of answering me, You have quite the sense of humour...as always.

Galatians 4:16 - "Have I therefore become your enemy by telling you the truth?"

I am so tired of fake relationships where we cannot just be honest with each other. Sure if I am choosing to sin and liking it, I won't appreciate someone calling me out in the moment, but I know I will later. That is why I am honest with others too. I would rather do that and have it out of my hands than to see and do nothing. I care too much not to.

Catch-up:

Job 15

Job 15:11 - "Are the consolations of God too small for you, even the word spoken gently with you?"

I give up on Him too easily. Sometimes I don't even try to hear Him anymore. So what exactly am I waiting for? Who could ever come along with greater consolation than His?

Day 44 - April 13/09

I need to get back in the habit.

Isaiah 53

This is a prophetic chapter concerning Jesus, and the pain and sorrow He would bear on our behalf. It talks of His piercing and rejection, His offering and suffering.

In hindsight, it seems amazing to think that no one saw the signs when they saw Jesus; He was the epitome of this chapter and so many others. Yet to fulfill the chapter, He had to be rejected rather than received. It's such a paradox: God gave the scriptures so that they might know Him when they saw Him, but to fulfill those same scriptures He had to be rejected by them. Incredible love.

He loved me THAT much. Indescribable.

God, I want to be in love with You again. I want to accept Your love and to stop falling short. Help me. I cannot do this on my own. I want to recognize you when I see you, not unknowingly reject you. How many times have I seen You and not known? Show me where you are.
Amen.